When A Bag of Skittles Threw Up All Over Facebook

Welp, y'all better prepare yourselves for a rant because you're going to get one.

Gay marriage was legalized in all 50 states last week. Everyone knows this. It's all over Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and the entire internet looks like a giant bag of Skittles threw up all over it.
People have been asking me my position on gay marriage, and I try to give a heartfelt answer, but it is also a fine line to walk as an LDS individual.

I'll tell you what I believe. I believe everyone has a right to be happy with the person they love. Homosexual feelings in and of themselves are not a sin. Those who have homosexual tenancies are not "evil" nor do they deserve to be shamed. I also believe in the law of chastity, and the law of procreation, and I believe that they apply to everyone. BUT I do not look down upon anyone who chooses to believe otherwise. That isn't my place. That isn't my job. My job is to love my neighbor as myself. That's my job.

I believe that God intended for marriage to be between a man and a woman, yes. I believe the reason we were sent here was to multiply and replenish the earth, which isn't something that two boys or two girls together, can't do. I am very aware. I also believe that not everyone knows what we know, or believes what we believe, and I'm not going to persecute them for it. I also believe that they are doing what they feel is best for them, and if it makes them happy, who am I to deny them of that? It isn't what's best for me, and it might not be what's best for you, but they are doing what they believe is best. You and I are not in charge of other people's agency.

I am not going to judge someone by their life choices. Especially if those choices don't affect me. I married a man. That was my right as an American citizen. That was my choice because Jesus Christ came to this earth and gave the world agency. He knew that this was going to happen. He knew that people wouldn't use their agency the way He intended, but do you think He paused even for a second to not go through with it because someday gay marriage would be legalized? I highly doubt it.

If you didn't know this, homosexual people aren't homosexual to spite you. To ruin your future generations with their same sex attraction. This is how they feel. This is who they love. I guess it's hard to understand when you aren't close to anyone who is genuinely in love with someone of the same sex. I am close to multiple people who have partners, and one of them is a very close friend, who saved me from myself once upon a time. I can't look at her and tell her she doesn't deserve to grow old with the person she loves just because I don't believe what she believes. I cry when I think about it actually, which might sound lame, but when they say "love is love" they aren't wrong. Their feelings are real and should be recognized by the government, even if they aren't recognized by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

I have been appalled at some of the things I have seen my LDS friends say in regards to the Supreme Court's decision. I have many dear friends who are homosexual, and you know what? God loves them just as much as he loves you and me. And if you're thinking, "Well I never said they were loved less, I just said they're wrong." I need you to think about the way you've been looking at these people. Have you looked down upon them? Have you said or thought hurtful things about them? Have you asked yourself if this is how Jesus would think about his brothers and sisters? Or if this is how God would think about His children? Have you been kind is your thoughts, and in your deeds, and in your actions? Because at the last day they will talk to God about how they felt and what they thought was right, and only he will have the right to judge them. And you are going to have to talk to God about how you treated his children as if they were less than you because they believed something different.
Let go, and let God. Let Him love them, and show them that love through your actions. Judge not that ye be not judged. Be kind, and love one another. We can spend our short time on this earth mad that gay marriage is legalized, or we can spend our time loving those around us and receiving love in return. I guess that the way you choose to live your life is your choice, but I'd choose love, and the happiness that comes with it, over anger any day of the week.

What Others Think Of You is None of Your Business

Over my short lifetime I've come face to face with a lot of peoples biggest fears. I've come up against being a child of divorced parents, I've been in a couple car accidents, I've been bullied, I've been obese, I've felt the sting of a loved one passing, I've been rejected by members of my family, and I am more than aware that I haven't seen the worst of what my life has to throw at me. In recounting on all of these experiences in my life, I have come to realize that I am a strong person, not because I have to be, but because I chose to be. I chose not to crumble when times were hard, I chose not to let the depression I felt knock my feet our from under me, when my mom would brush my curly ratty hair as a kid she'd tell me to "stand like a statue", and I carried that advice throughout the rest of my life. In this, I come off as a hard personality. I speak my mind, even when it isn't easy. I offend people, without intending to. I'm a bold person, and with that personality, not everyone likes me all that much. What's hard about that, is that I'm a very loving person. If there is ever something I've done wrong to someone, I want to fix it and make whoever is angry, hurt, or offended happy again, because happiness is my favorite! (kind of like Buddy the Elf, but Spenser version)

I got married a week ago, and even though some of those in attendance were trying really hard to put on a happy face for the two of us, even Joe, who sees the best in everyone, could tell that not everyone was super excited or hopeful for our future together. There were also those who didn't even try. And it hurt. Knowing that at that point in time I had done all I could do to make these people love me as much as I love Joe, and they didn't. I hate that it even upsets me. But recently my mother's advice from all those gossip filled years of high school has been ringing in my head, "What others think about you is none of your business." And, sadly, that statement is so true.

As hard as I said my personality is, I really do try to show love to everyone. I'm loud and obnoxious and I love to hug and laugh and skip while holding hands. I'm incredibly driven, I speak my mind, and I'm opinionated, but I always try to admit when I'm wrong and mend any wounds I've caused. And these are traits that I will not apologize for. I love my husband, and I'll be the first to admit that when we first started dating I was awful to him. I was afraid of falling in love, because love never really seemed to end in happily ever afters. I was afraid that the kind of man Joe was, wasn't a man who really existed, because I had never known someone so genuinely good. Out of fear of being let down, I pushed him away and drug him through the mud and tried and tried for four months to get him to break up with me, but he stuck with me, because he saw through all of my fears. I showed him my scars and he kissed them better. I told him of my past, and he reminded me that God had already forgotten. I told him that I was afraid of how I felt, and he took my hand and said that he'd never let me fall. Thankfully for me, I married the most forgiving, loving, and understanding human being on the planet and I don't know what I'd do without him in my life.

In conclusion, I am sorry if I have ever offended any of you. I'm sorry if you saw who I was when Joe and I first started dating. If I'd seen the way I treated him then, I wouldn't like me either. But I ask that you please believe that I have had a mighty change of heart. I'm sorry if I've said something too bold or insensitive, and I've hurt your feelings. I am truly, deeply sorry. But I ask for your forgiveness. I'm still learning how to better myself, and treat others with the utmost kindness and respect. I'm still learning how to love those that persecute me. I'm still learning how to be like my Lord, and Savoir, Jesus Christ, and I'm not quite there yet....in fact I'm not even close! So I ask that you cut me some slack, be patient with me, and find it in your heart to forgive me. And to please please please let me know when I've done wrong, because I would love to fix it.

Anyway, happy Friday!

Love,

Spenser Betenson

(I love typing that name :))